The Sammich

I’m not usually a fan.

I’ll be all over a sandwich made from leftover turkey with mayo, salt, pepper, and cranberry jelly, but as far as the general, slap-some-lunchmeat on some bread type goes… meh. The issue might be that as a kid I was spoiled in the bread department, having grown up with real bakery rolls available all over the place. I don’t know. I know I’m more likely to make a sandwich with rye bread or good rolls than a regular old loaf of white bread.

Hoagies from Philly are a whole ‘nother animal, but right now I want to talk about three sandwiches that I will eat. And eat. And eat.

And one of them requires regular old white bread.

(Oh by the way. Hi again.)

The Tomato Sandwich

I grew up eating BLTs (which probably deserve their own post) but the idea of a Tomato Sandwich had never occurred to me until I moved South in 1995. It’s surprising, because I love ripe tomatoes, and I love real mayonnaise. When someone told me about them I thought it was genius, and I couldn’t wait to try one.

I had to wait. I don’t buy hot house tomatoes. Can’t stand them. When tomato season came along I bought the largest, ripest tomato I could find and got some white bread. The rule had been to use white bread, but I’ll bet this sandwich would rock on sourdough or something else a little more chewy (it’s messy). I smeared mayo on both sides of the bread, salted and sprinkled black pepper on both sides of the bread, and sliced myself a half inch thick round of ‘mater that was large enough to cover the bread slice. I’d been warned that it would drip.

Yeah.

Eat this at the kitchen sink or over a plastic tablecloth. You might even want to just stand in the bathtub naked and flip the shower on when you’re done to save some trouble. The problem with this sandwich is the wait. Due to needing really ripe tomatoes you only get to eat these a few months a year. I think that’s why I love them so much.

The Most Interesting Sandwich Ever

Ok, that’s my opinion, but really. It’s fascinating.

It’s also simple.

I was working with a woman for over a year, and she might have been the nicest, kindest person I ever met. I walked into the break room one time while she was eating lunch, and I got a look at the sandwich she was eating. When I commented on it she handed me half, because that how she rolled.

It was incredible.

You’ll probably think it’s disgusting.

Find yourself a good sized ripe tomato that’s still firm. Hard boil some eggs and slice them lengthwise, leaving the yolk in the slice. Get a jar of baby garlic dills, and slice them into halves or thirds (you could use the sandwich slices, but it doesn’t taste the same). Grab some decent white bread or a loaf of sourdough or rye (thinking this could rock on a baguette, too).

The order of ingredients is important here.

Spread mayonnaise on both slices of bread. Slice of tomato or two on the bottom slice of bread. Next slap the slices of egg onto the tomato slice. Then put the sliced pickles on. Stick the top slice of bread on.

It’s fantastic. It’s probably my favorite sandwich ever, and I couldn’t even tell you why.

The Chip Chicken Sandwich

My kid calls it Chip Chicken. I wanted chicken strips one day, and since we’re in the boonies now if you want something you pretty much need to learn to do it yourself. I decided to use crushed potato chips for the coating. I’ve heard you could use flavored chips, but I’m pretty sure I developed perfection here.

Use about two pounds of boneless, skinless breasts and slice them into strips. Place them in a container with a lid or a zipper bag. Mix two cups of milk with two beaten eggs and pour it over the chicken and let it all marinate (more or less) in the fridge for a few hours.

Get a large bag of plain, non ruffled chips. Toss them in a large zipper bag to crush them so you can use the bag to shake and coat the chicken strips. It’s fun to crush the chips. You can squeeze and squish; you can punch and smush. Seriously, if you’re in any kind of crabby mood this is a good idea. Get the chips all broken down and then open the bag and add:

A bunch of Garlic Salt to taste

About one tablespoon of paprika

One teaspoon of black pepper

Some Italian Seasoning (this was a later addition, but it really helps a lot)

Seal the bag and shake it up to distribute the seasoning, and when you’re ready to start dinner preheat the oven to 400. Do NOT set it lower or the strips will take longer to cook and get mushy. Toss the strips into the bag of crushed chips and shake and toss and squish to coat. Arrange them on cookie sheets that have been greased with olive or vegetable oil (it’s important), and bake them for 15 minutes, turn them over, and bake them for 15 minutes more. We eat them for dinner, and then we use the leftovers for the sandwiches the next day. You want:

Chewy rolls. Hoagie rolls work best.

Mayonnaise (I mixed some sriracha into mayo and used that on mine. Oh my gah. Awesome)

Lettuce

That’s it. You could add tomatoes I guess, but since they aren’t available yet I haven’t tried it. Reheat the strips before using them for the sandwiches, and use the oven or toaster oven. The microwave will make them mushy.

If you try any of these let me know what you think. I’d also like some ideas from you all for interesting sandwiches since I’m trying to gain weight and bread could help with that.